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In today's complicated world, he might be calling work, his sitter, or his ex-wife to see if she can pick up the kids.

Three: Do not "friend" your date on Facebook before or after the initial meeting.

Opinions on a date are more like your lesbian best friend: We know she's important to you and we're glad you have her, but we have no idea why you'd want to introduce us to her on a first meeting and turn the evening into a serious downer.

Twelve: If you do opt to discuss current events, avoid anything so controversial it will destroy potential chemistry, like Crimea, Obama's job performance, or the relevance of HBO's "Looking." Thirteen: Fashions change, so know the basics: No flip-flops, no shaving, and, even if it is after Memorial Day, absolutely no white underwear.

If you're not a good match (and dates are like new restaurants; about one in eight survive), you're both going to share that awkward moment of "Do I un-friend him or keep reading about his 'Why do I always meet losers? Four: Even though gay men love to label everyone, they despise being labeled.

So whether he's a Bear, Twink, Twunk, Cub, Daddy, Dilf, Otter, Chub, Gym Rat, Gym Bunny, or any of the other zillion names we give one another, only address him in generic terms, like handsome, sexy, hung.

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